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Saturday, December 18, 2010

A billion idiots and counting..

An idiot is an idiot irrespective of nationality. And I am proud to declare that I am one such.
Mark Twain once said "In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards".
So once we are educated in our system of education that uses the school's blackboard, we know where we are headed. Not to mention the NCERT and the Tamil Nadu govt history text books that talk about the "Indian History" that never paints Aurangazeb in bad light and where there is no mention of his vandalizing the temples. Likewise the TN govt text books that contain material that eulogize Periyar, Annadurai and MK, not necessarily in the same order, while their 'achievements' are questionable.
What you can expect in future are some topics on Raja and Kanimozhi and some "poets" like Vaali and Vairamuthu singing the glory of the pair ( no pun intended ).
Well, what has 'idiots; got to do with the pair ? Well, let us go over.
Some legend here about some legendary figures :
  • G1- Sonia (G)- the precursor to 2G.
  • G2- Rahul (G) - the progeny of G1.
  • Kani - the poetess, temptress from the south
  • Raja - needs no legend as he is already one
  • MMS - the de jure prime minister ( note that India has a Prime Minister still )
  • MK - the only guardian of Tamil Culture who runs a govt writing screen plays for tamil films
Having come across some 'legends', we know that iare either born in India or they are made in Indian schools. In case you are not an idiot by birth, you are made into one once you read the history books taught in schools. Otherwise how can one believe the following :
  1. MMS is the 'cleanest' PM that the country has ever had, thus say the 'elite' english papers, this despite the fact that he tolerated a scam-boss in his ministry for more than 4 years. One of the records that he has set is that he has made the nation proud by being the leader of the government that has indulged in the largest scam in the world, so far.
  2. The 2Gs ( Sonia-G and Rahul-G ) remain unscathed in the scams so far and are hailed for what ever the reason.
  3. The 2Gs are not responsible for the Bihar debacle when the congress has won just 4 out of 220 seats. The party has decided that the party itself had been weak in Bihar and that they have to start from the scracth. Thus, if any victory in any part of the country occurs for the Congress, paenas for the 2Gs for their remarkable leadership but no responsibility in case there is a debacle.
  4. Rahul (G2) is more patriotic and 'secular' and therefore he has absolved Lakshar-e-Toiba to the US Ambassador.
  5. Rahul (G2) is the most secular human being available in India as he has expressed fears about the Hindu Terror Organizations ( read 'saffron terror' as that is the buzz word now-a-days) after the Mumbai attacks.
  6. Kani is a poetess par excellence ( as often eulogized by Vaali and Vairamuthu ) despite the fact that she has stoped writing long back and only talks to Radia and Radio either backing Raja or opposing Dayanidhi.
  7. The whole world does not know of the relationship between Kani and Raja despite the duo blushing about each other to the Radio ( err.. Radia ).
  8. Raja is the only culpable person in the whole 2G loot and the DMK has no relations what so ever.
  9. MK is still sensible and is fit enough to be a Chief Minister and therefore is seen either going to Delhi in a wheel-chair or is seen accepting awards for writing dialogues for un-seeable films that bomb in the box-office even during the first show.
  10. Raja is being hounded by the media only because he is a dalit and therefore , P.J.Thomas, the tainted Chief Vigilance Commissioner of India, is also being hounded by the Supreme Court just because he happens to be a Christian. Hence the Supreme Court is racist / aryan / communal etc.
  11. Ratan Tata and therefore the Tata group are honourable despite the Radio's ( err Radia's) escapades.
  12. Ratan Tata is an honourable person despite the fact that he speaks about the party dress that Radio Radia would wear to a party hosted by Ratan.
  13. Azhagiri is an educated person who has the ability to talk ( not to metion the language ).
  14. Vir Sanghvi and Barkha Dutt are the most secular faces of the media and they can keep espousing on morality and justice to gullible public.
  15. The BJP is above all corruption. Yeddyurappa need not resign despite the dubious land deals that get published daily.
  16. The victory for the NDA in Bihar is because of Nitish Kumar and thus not because of the BJP while the victory for the BJP in Gujarat is because of the polarization on communal lines by Narendra Modi and not because of his govt's achievements. This is secularism for the un-initiated.
  17. EVR is the erstwhile head of the Tamil dravidian family and he brought back the glory to Tamil despite the fact that his mother tongue was Kannada and he had remarked about Tamil to be the language of the barbarians.
  18. MK spends considerable amount of time in 'governing' the state of Tamil Nadu ( a functional anarchy at that ) and he does this feat by writing unpalatable dialogues to un-seeable films.
  19. Kani and her mother ( don't know a parliamentary word to define her relationship with MK ) are doing social work with VOLTAS that too in the cause of the Sri Lankan tamils.
  20. Fr. Jagath Casper Raj's association with Kani ( or is it the other way around ) is only platonic and they have devoted their lives to the cause of Tamil folk arts and Sri Lankan tamils.
We have to believe in all the above and be 'patriotic' and 'dravidian' ( both being mutually exclusive terms ) all at the same time.
In case one doesn't believe in the above, he is supposed to be an 'aryan' by birth ( as per MK theory of racial orientation ) and can be classified as one of the following :
  1. Mount Road Mahavishnu
  2. Person with a thread across his body
  3. Both 1 and 2.